So you made it through high school, that’s awesome. Congratulations. We’re all proud of you. (No seriously, we know it wasn’t easy) And now you have to say goodbye to the only life you’ve ever known. No more Friday night football games, no more spring dances. Bye-bye friends.
But its exciting isn’t it? College, a fresh start somewhere else. Or maybe youre skipping college and getting a job – a fresh start making your own money and your own rules.
Either way, you’re an adult now.
No seriously, you’re an adult now…
It doesn’t rise and set on your grown-up ass.
But I promise, it will rise tomorrow, life will go on and fresh starts are always there for the taking.
Your Words Are Not Gold
Says the blogger.
Sometimes keeping your thoughts and opinions to yourself is the most grown-up thing you can do. Its easy to be petty, to make remarks that are unnecessary. We’ve all done it, no one will blame you if you do. But trust me, as someone who has put her foot in her mouth too many times to count, keep the negativity to yourself or tell your therapist about it.
Hurtful, unnecessary words cannot be taken back.
I don’t know…food, shelter and clothing make me pretty friggen happy.
Whoever said money doesn’t matter was someone who has too much of it or gets it for nothing.
Its important. It will make you happy. It will keep you fed. It takes work to have it. No one owes you money – not for school, not for food, not for rent, not for a car, not for a phone…no one owes you a damn thing.
If you want things, you have to work for them.
Money is not a reflection of who you are. If you are a shitty poor person, you will be a shitty rich person.
Money will not tell you an inside joke. It wont smile at you for no reason. It can’t bring people back, and its not worth staying together for.
Money comes and goes, you can spend it and remake it.
Money is important.
Money is not the most important thing.
You: “You mean I can buy all of this shit for only $20??”
Credit Card Company: “Yep! And by making the minimum monthly payment you should have this baby paid off in the next 5 years, your interest rate is…”
You: “Interest Schminterest, $20 for a Kayak, paddle and life jacket? Sold!!!”
Congratulations, you’ve just entered a life of credit card debt.
Give them, as you’ll need them too.
3rd and 4th chances are on you.
It’s healthy, it’s fun.
Chlamydia is neither.
No glove no love.
It’s ok to date for a while and decide you are unhappy, its ok to walk away. Its ok to decide its not a good fit, end it…and walk away. Yes, someone will get hurt, probably both of you. Don’t drag it out, don’t bash each other, don’t torture each other. Dating is not a marriage proposal, just because you might have planned a future, doesn’t mean that future is right. Doesn’t mean someone doesn’t have the right to change their mind. Its called dating, no one ever said it was easy.
If you are in a relationship, be in it. If you don’t want to be, don’t. Being in a relationship means you trust someone emotionally and physically with your well-being. If you can’t be trusted, that’s on you and no one else.
Cheating is cowardly.
Mama is worried about you, she will never stop worrying about you, she can’t help it – and its these worrying instincts that kept you alive for so long. You’re welcome.
Did something bad?
Her love grows, every day. She knows you will make mistakes, she was young once too ya know. Everyday she loves you more…remember how proud of you she was when you graduated high school? The way she cried bittersweet tears and took 400 pictures? The way she cheered and yelled when your name was called?
Well, she loves you more today than she did on that day…whatever you’ve done that is so scary and bad, she will still love you more on your worst day than she did on your best.
Pride and disappointment are not reflections of her love. She doesn’t love you more when she’s proud or less when she’s disappointed, she loves you more every day, no matter what. Today, she loves you more than she ever has, even if you need bail money. Even if you’re failing grades and life. Even if you’ve hurt her feelings or someone else’s. She loves you most right now. She might yell, scream and pull her hair…but she’s got your back, kid.
That’s on you. Not your professor. You.
There are bad professors out there – but there are also plenty of tutors, books, friends, classmates, libraries and tools to help you. Utilize them. Your professor is not going to spoon feed you extra credit, nor are they going to accept your mothers hand written sick note.
Enough of the excuses, work harder.
Its fun, you should do it.
Dance with strangers, go home with friends.
Do a keg stand, go streaking, be a loyal beer pong partner….go home with friends.
Call a cab, walk, set up a reliable DD. Don’t be a dumbass.
Do your homework first, there is no such thing as going out for “just one”
Keep your phone charged, keep it in your pocket and out of your hand. If you look up, there is a party going on with lots of memories to make. My husband and I still tell stories from our college years, not a single one starts with “I was on MySpace and the coolest thing happened” (Yeah, we had MySpace…I’m old, leave me alone)
Don’t be boring, live the life in front of you, you’ll regret it if you don’t.
…and carrying a can of bear spray never hurt anyone but an attacker…and a bear.
No, you’re not perfect. People are going to say mean things, call you things, betray you, hurt you…they will show you the worst part of themselves and blame you. This is life. You have to take it with big grains of salt.
But if you are going to take in the bad, you best take in the good.
Believe it when they say you are funny, smart, beautiful or handsome. Take it to heart. Don’t wave them off and say “no, I’m not”…thank them for their kind compliment, file it where important things go and move on.
Be proud and have self-respect, embrace humility and stay humble.
Its not a myth, get your hungover ass to the gym.
“Wait, Ash…don’t you mean the freshman fifteen?”
Yeah, those are on you too princess. And if your parents did pay them for you (because they did not have to!!!), you best let them see their grandbabies whenever the hell they want.
Living at home?
No shame in that.
You’re getting on your feet, right?
Well, while you find your footing – march your little toesies over to the washer and dryer. Stand in front of the sink and wash some dishes. Clear the table. Shovel the driveway. Commandeer a lawn mower. Make dinner. Dust. If your parents come home from work and their house isn’t clean, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Earn your keep.
You are not a baby anymore; you are a grown up. Do you realize that your parents don’t have to let you live there? That it is no longer your right, but your privilege? They pay for that house and that food (and lets face it, your fancy phone is still on their family plan)
Your parents love being able to provide for you – but they deserve your respect and your appreciation while they do it.
“My mom says I don’t need a job, that school is my job right now”
Yes, I agree, you should focus on school. Its important. Now get off your ass and clean something.
The simple life
There is no shame in working hard and appreciating what you have without getting everything you want.
Don’t be a dick
Hold doors, use your manners, don’t look at your phone when someone is talking to you, give the courtesy wave and keep mean thoughts to yourself.
Bloggers like to hand out advice like Oprah…”You get advice you didn’t ask for, and YOU get advice you didn’t ask for!!”
We’re like middle aged women who spot an unsuspecting pregnant girl in the produce section…
“Ooh – you’re carrying low so you’re definitely having a boy. And You’ve got great birthing hips so you should be fine, but DO NOT let them talk you into drugs! You don’t want your little guy born drugged out and disoriented, do you? If you can, go to Lowes and buy a kiddie pool so you can deliver him in your garage like a real woman. Doctors are stupid and breast is best. Judging by the face you’re making right now you must be experiencing some intense heartburn which means your baby will be born with a FULL head of hair, how exciting! Oh – and if you let him cry it out you’re a fucking monster. Thanks for letting me touch your belly, bye!!”
…Bloggers are real life human beings sitting in front of a keyboard who know just as much about life as any other person (We tend to be a touch hypocritical as well). This is very black and white advice I’m doling out to you – and our world is quite gray. If you must, take our words into consideration – but if you need real life advice? The kind that matters? Get off the internet and call home.
Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles ….your family knows you. They don’t always know what is best for you, but they want what is best for you, and that’s gold. Trust them, and trust yourself while you’re at it.
There is no key to life.
Be a good person, be a good friend, work hard and appreciate what you have – life is still going to kick you in the nuts repeatedly until you die anyway, but wouldn’t it be nice to be able to get there with your shoulders back and your head held high?
Thanks for visiting MadStella <3