I’m Offended

No, really…I’m not. But you are.

Of course you’re not offended Ashley, you’re a middle class white girl…. you’re not gay, you aren’t a single mother, you’re actually a stay at home mother – so the wage gap between men and women doesn’t apply to you. You aren’t an illegal immigrant, you aren’t handicapped and neither are your children. You aren’t cultured, your mind is as small as the town you were born and raised in and continue to live in. Your life is perfectly fine, so why don’t you sit down and let us worry about social rights.

Ah…there we are. The root of this problem. Because I am all of those things…my voice shouldn’t be heard. My vote shouldn’t count. I shouldn’t have a say in any of it because I don’t understand the hardships of other’s lives. Trump supporters are all bible thumping bigots, they’re small minded people who hate women and gays but above all…they’re incredibly intolerant. A beastly bunch of deplorables.

Gotchya! Glad we have that cleared up.

Clearly I’m on the list of offenders, so before you read this blog – please note that if your mind has already been made (and it has) …I don’t actually believe I’m going to change it. I’m writing this because I’ve been asked to, I’ve been asked by an Anti-Trump friend to write why (when she has known me to have such liberal views) I voted for President Trump.

I’m already anticipating the comments about my insensitivity complete with a link for me to click on to prove that I am in fact wrong. So, don’t disappoint folks…send me links to factual websites that I will not read.

Well that’s rude. You won’t even hear us out?

No young one, it’s not rude…its honest. You’re being too sensitive.

What’s wrong with being sensitive? What’s wrong with showing we care? That we’re humans with hearts and empathy?

Nothing wrong with being sensitive, nothing wrong with being a decent and kind human being. And there is nothing wrong with putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and trying to feel what they feel. You should, we all should. It’s what separates us from animals.

What you think I voted for and what I know I voted for are two very different things.

  1. You think I voted for Trump because I don’t care about women’s rights.

Trump hates women, he degrades them…he’s a pig. I don’t want my daughter growing up thinking some man can ‘grab her by the pussy’ just because he wants to. What message does that send to her? Do you know what that does to her self-confidence? Her self-respect? He is the president of the United States, a man of power – and we chose this woman-grabbing animal as a role model for our children?

Let’s start from the bottom of that and work our way up, shall we?

Trump is not the role model for your daughter. Your daughter’s role model should be YOU. If your daughter feels like an idiot in a room full of men…that’s on you. If you blame Trump for your daughter’s lack of self-worth – shame on you. If her self-respect revolves around what a man says or does, shame on you. If her self-confidence plummets because 20 years ago Donald Trump grabbed a woman by the pussy, shame on you. If you haven’t taught your daughter to kick a man in the balls, whether he is the President of the United States or your piece of shit neighbor down the street, when he grabs her body – SHAME. ON. YOU.

I have failed my children if I have left it up to anyone but their father and I to determine their self-worth for them. We have failed if we have not taught them how to love themselves, despite what the world’s opinion might be. Despite what the world might teach them.

This type of nurturing, this morality and love….it all comes from home. If you can’t provide it, the American people have not failed – the president has not failed – YOU HAVE FAILED. Take responsibility for your own life and your own children and stop demanding others to reach your standards. Try setting your own moral bar and aiming for it. The better you are, the better your children will be. Stop waiting for the world to be a safe and tolerant place for your children, and start BEING their safe and tolerant place.

The Women’s March that was held the day after the inauguration, I was against it.

Why? Why are you so against women gathering to fight for your rights as a woman? To celebrate being a woman. To fight against inequality between men and women. Why would you be against that?

Good question.

I realize there were valid reasons for women to march (the wage gap, for example) however I still felt it was a waste of time and resources, honestly. You probably helped economically in that you stayed in hotels, ate at restaurants, used various forms of transportation…I mean, you also destroyed the streets and littered the hell out of the cities you went to…but all in the name of a good cause, right? You also forgot to not be hypocritical, therefore in my eyes, it was an over-all fail.

If you didn’t know this already, I am pro-choice. I strongly believe in a woman’s right to choose what she does or doesn’t do with her body. So why would I be so against a march that brought positive attention to a topic that I stand firmly on?

Tell me, at your women’s march…were all of the women equal? Were all female voices allowed to be heard? Could the women on your march hold up a sign that read “Make America Great Again”?

What about women who are pro-life? Are they covered under your umbrella of feminism? Is their opinion not admirable enough for you? Is it too “manly” of a view point?

Your march was bull because you support only the women who follow your rules. You are not empowering women to have a voice of their own and it’s unfortunate that you think otherwise. I did not attend or support your march, because you did not make a place for this woman to walk in it.

I voted for Trump because I am confident that in 8 years (yeah, 8) abortion will still be legal. However, if you make the choice to have an abortion – I believe you’ll soon have to pay for it yourself, as tax payer money will no longer be used to perform them. I also support this. But make no mistake ladies, you will still have this choice. Of course, my vote wouldn’t have changed if this choice was taken away. Social issues are not MY number one priority right now, even if they are important to me.

Women are empowered. We’re free and we’re equal. If I had to choose a group of people to empower right now it would be teachers. Parents run schools, letting their kids get away with being disrespectful little assholes and defending their actions with excuses. Your child’s teacher has the tools to make up where you fail, to be a role model in addition to you…or maybe his family life is hard right now and his teacher is the only solid daily role model he has right now.  Instead of arguing every punishment your child gets at school, try reinforcing the punishment instead. Try being a united front with his teacher. Standing behind your child’s teacher and supporting him/her IS the same thing as standing behind your child.

Don’t like common core? Yeah…me either. I voted to get rid of common core. But some things are a fact of life, and your kid still needs to get their shit done. They still need to learn it, his teacher still needs to teach it. Don’t punish her for shit she can’t change.

Ladies, we’re fine. Start empowering PEOPLE if you want to make a difference in young lives.

 

  1. You think my vote means I am against the LGBT community.

???????

I won’t say its “All going to be ok” …because I can’t promise that. I wouldn’t even know what a promise like that would look like or how I would deliver it with confidence. What I will tell you confidently is that we will never go back to where we’ve started. We’ve come too far.

“Yeah, we have come very far – but because people fought for it. Now we have to fight for it again!!”

Ok, I hear you…just let me get this out…

Most people don’t care that you’re gay. Most people care about you being gay the same way that they care about me being straight. They don’t give a shit.

“Wow…what a small-minded thing to say Ashley”

No…it’s not. You need to get rid of the “If you’re not with us, you’re against us” mentality. Plenty of gay people voted for Trump. Sure, there are many people who voted for Trump that are against equal marriage rights…but I am telling you – most of them do not give a shit if you are gay or straight. Our vote for Trump is NOT an attack on your sexual orientation. We do not want to stop you from love, sex, marriage, divorce or children – or anything else that results from a relationship between two people.

I don’t know what hardships you’ve faced – maybe you were called derogatory names by awful people at your school, maybe when you came out the people you thought were your friends no longer stood by your side. Maybe you were disowned and abandoned by your family.

I can’t help you with all of that, it’s beyond my understanding – what I can tell you is that however you came to your parents – whether it be by adoption or birth – they were supposed to love you on the highest level and in your every form. If your parents were so weak minded that they crippled to society’s judgments or a biblical belief and disowned you for who you are – not a choice you made – but for who you are…then that is their fault. They are cowards. Society didn’t fail you, your parents did.

I have trust in my peers and in my generation to right this wrong. I have faith that they are raising their children to be tolerant and accepting. I have seen good people with strong anti-LGBT minds ignore their feelings and show acceptance and kindness instead of intolerance. It can be done, and its done all the time. Our children are born with a clean slate, shame on any parent who tarnishes it with their own hate.

But to me, right now, LGBT rights are not my first priority. It does not mean that I am against you. And just because there are people who don’t understand you, or don’t want to understand you – it doesn’t mean they are going to fight against you either.

  1. You voted for Trump, you’re practically the KKK.

Go away.

4. Ok…but if you voted for Trump you must be a little racist.

Well, I voted for Obama twice….so this argument is starting to really annoy me. However, I’ll give you some credit –  it’s hard to not become even the slightest bit racist when the media is so interested in covering the Black Lives Matter movement. Which is a joke, by the way. A sick fucking joke that no one should be proud of. Martin Luther King would be rolling in his grave right now if he saw what those idiots were doing. Maybe it’s not all bad? Maybe they’re actually accomplishing something? Who knows! All I see are a bunch of rotten brats destroying their communities one broken window and burning car at a time. They’re wasting everybody’s time, no one is taking them seriously and they are endangering the lives of hardworking American citizens and service men and women. I don’t know why any African American would actually want to be represented by them.

Trump is NOT racist, nor do his supporters believe him to be. The KKK represents me the same way the young African American man taking a baseball bat to his local Starbucks represents his race. Do not hate the Trump voter, hate the media…they are only showing the extremists of each group.

We DID NOT vote for Trump because of social rights.

Democrats are a large group of people that pride themselves in their individuality. Republicans are no different. Liberals, conservatives…they are no different. Blacks, whites, Hispanics…no different.

While you’re asking me to look at you and not see a gay person, but instead just a person…I am also asking you to look at me and assume there is more to me than a vote – and that my vote wasn’t made in hate.

So…

If you didn’t like any of that, you’re really not going to like this.

I voted for Trump to see our Veterans treated better, to see our service men and women start getting the respect they fucking deserve, to ensure our 2nd amendment rights, for better health care, to protect our borders, to change our tax laws, to get rid of common core, to get the undeserving off welfare, to strengthen small business, to change how we import and export our goods, to get rid of illegal immigrants and so we can build that fucking wall.

Don’t like those reasons? Still offended? Probably at this point your most recently offended by my “get rid of illegal immigrants and build the fucking wall” remarks, assumingly.

Well, I will stand by that. I will stand by all of my remarks. The same way I have defended social rights the last two elections. The same way I voted twice for Obama so I could see my friends and family members get to legally love and marry whoever they wanted to. The same way I stood proud in front of two amazing women and officiated their wedding for them.

Your parades saved lives. Young people struggling with acceptance saw your pride and your flag and realized they had nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. Your movements have helped more than just the LGBT community – they gave families more time with their loved ones who may or may not have been suicidal. Your actions are admirable. I am not trying to silence or oppress you! I am not asking you to stop empowering each other or to shut up!

I do not pretend to represent all Trump supporters but I will stand by my vote because while the minorities of our country raised their voices, demanded equality, held picket signs, marched in parades, held rallies – I listened. I heard you. Everyone heard you. We answered you! You HAVE NOT been ignored. People of every race, gender and financial standing have stepped up and fought for you. Advocated for you and with you.

And you progressed.

You progressed while everything else fell to shit. You can debate that if you’d like, but you’ll get nothing back from me. I am tired of debating it. Our country has ignored our needs in exchange for our wants, and make no mistake that social rights were also my wants.

But they are no longer my first priority.

So, I am going to finish this with saying that it is NOT selfish for the majority to ask for what they want, to fight for what they want and to demand that they be heard…even if you think they’ve been heard enough. Even if you think it’s unfair or unnecessary. We too have a right to feel safe and heard.

I will not feel guilt for voting for what I want or for what our country needs. I will not feel guilt for doing what I think is best for my family and our country.

So many people fought for you, so many of them, even when the problems weren’t directly their own. Don’t shame them now for fighting for their own wants, beliefs and rights. Do not demote them to hateful and spew your prejudices on such a diverse group of voters when so many of them have stood so firmly and proudly in your corner.

You say you’re offended by my vote.

I say your intolerance is showing.